The Invisible Mother

**So first, let me start with a little disclaimer: I wasn't going to write this post until closer to Mother's Day. I wanted to share a motivational piece I read months ago that meant so much to me. It was so moving, in fact, that (despite being 1-week post partum) it still brought me to tears. However, my dear friend, Kelly had a Facebook status that made me zoom this blog entry up a few weeks to motivate a need she had, which made me think that my other mom friends may have a need for a little reassurance as well.


Here we are....Kelly posted this morning something to the affect of 'I don't know if my husband could survive without me.' When I first read it this morning, I start chuckling to myself. One of those chuckles that had me shaking my head in agreement thinking 'aaahhhh, one of those kinds of days.' I have certainly had those days, weeks where I find myself thinking if my family would starve from hunger, stink from dirty clothes or at the most extreme survive if I wasn't around. Okay, so I know they would survive, but what kind of life would it be for them? I know I have blogged about this before but as the "mom" you wear so many hats, and usually many of them are at the same time. The chef, the personal trainer, the amusement park, the cleaning lady, the nurse, the laundress, the cheuaffuer (sp?), the secretary, the personal assistant, the shopper, the educator, the dog walker (at least in my case), the list is never ending. It feels like we are juggling 14 balls in the air at the same time and magically, we can do so without any of them dropping but it doesn't seem as if anyone else notices. It seems like we work all day long to make sure the laundry is done, the house is cleaned, the dinner is on the table on time, the kids have been actively engaged in something other than the television and the only time someone notices is when one of those things hasn't been done throughout the day. So in light of all that we do as moms, I share with you "The Invisible Mom." Please know that I did not write this nor do I know who did. It was passed on to me through a Bible Study and I love it so much. I hope you do too!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Pick me up at 5:30 please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball, 'Where is my other sock?', 'Where is my phone?', 'What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature- but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read- no, devour- the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked a man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, no one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall in place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn, no cupcake you've baked, not all the baseball games you went to, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what will become.'

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be build in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there....'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.