I am here, I swear

Sorry about my lack of posting but honestly, I haven't done a blessed thing. Unfortunately, life gets in the way. But I guess that has been the point all along. When life gets in the way and push comes to shove, what is the first thing to go? The one thing that gives me peace of mind, a clear head and a strong heart and body. Ironic isn't it? But I think it is also a case of "mommy-hood." We, as moms, as notorious for putting all of life first before ourselves and when time is cutting short and we have to eliminate something to fit it all in, the things that are the best for us are the things that get left behind. I have only really missed one day of running. Monday was supposed to be a yoga and/or pilates day and, realistically, I NEVER follow through with this one. I should add in a running day JUST to do something productive. Today was supposed to be a strength training day....didn't happen....was dealing with WAY to much to sit on a ball and to push up's and crunches! Tomorrow is supposed to be a long 8 mile run. Again, life gets in the way but I can't put Connor in daycare for the time it would take me to run the 8 miles because I have to have him in daycare in the afternoon so I can have some more tests run. I am not giving up my run tomorrow though. I am definitely going for 4 miles and then we will see where that takes me. Maybe more, depending on time and how I feel. Thursday I am back to strength training, a run on Friday and if I feel like it, a 5K on Saturday morning. That will be a last minute decision though and we will see how it goes. So, I have no fallen off the face of the planet....but again....I have fallen off the wagon and am feeling mighty guilty about my lack of motivation and desire to keep going.

Wahoo!

Wahoo is totally how I feel right now! This week I have run 12 miles and feel great! It should have been 15....however, sometimes life gets in the way. Wednesday, I ran 6 miles and was on top of my little running world. I felt amazing. Yesterday, because of my "amazing" run, my hips were sore so I took a day off from my strength training but it was okay because I spent an hour in the pool running after Connor as he jumped in and out from the big pool to the baby pool.

Today, I wanted nothing to do with the gym. I woke up, the whole house was dark because there was so much cloud coverage and it was raining. Really?!? This is supposed to be my motivation to get out there, to kick butt and take names?!? You have got to be kidding me! But, at 8:00 I was on my way to the gym. I started out a little slow, thinking I was going to try to do exactly what I was supposed to do, 1 mile warm up, 4 miles at a 12:17 pace and 1 mile cool down. I got .2 miles "warming up" and I said f*** this and I was off. I did exactly 4 miles and was sweating my butt off as I stepped off but I finished in less than 1 hour.

Back to Square One

Well, here is the situation. Today was a yoga and/or pilates day. Virtually a "free day" in terms of my workouts. I went to Winn Army Hospital this morning, a good hour from my house for an internal medicine referral. At the pulmonary clinic, I was put inside a breathing chamber and had to bring in and out this this crazy machine a few times, then was hooked up to the sticky circles on my chest and rode the stationary bike and then back to the chamber for another 20 minutes. All this fuss only to find out that I do not have exercise-induced asthma. Better yet, it doesn't appear that I have ANY symptoms of ANY kind of asthma. Cool! Two thumbs up to fabulousness!!

So anyway, as the situation stands right now, I am waiting for a call from my "mister." My best case scenario is that I can have a phone consultation with him when he calls and an even better case scenario is that I will get a referral to an ENT to get this situation figured out.

On a plus note, I did take a walk tonight with Connor and Dakota. It was crazy hot and I thought Kota was going to sit down on the ground and just bail on me, but we drug ourselves into the driveway and I feel a little better about doing something active today.

This is not going to be good

So....I was so optimistic at the beginning of the week. I was ready to tackle the entire week's worth of training. I went out this morning (honestly, a little later than I would have liked), but I went out and was ready to do my 4 miles. I got out and holy crap it was hot. I made it to mile 1.5 and started to get really winded. At mile 2, I needed to stop to take a sip of water and catch me breath. After that, I couldn't run .5 miles without feeling like I was going to pass out. My lungs felt like they were 1/10 their normal size, my throat felt like it was going to explode and the back of my nasal passages were so blocked that I couldn't breath through my nose. This sucks! I just want to breath!!!

Pretty much the worst week...EVER

In terms of my training anyway. I was out of town on a waste of a "vacation" and never once made it to the gym to run. I walked my butt off and sweated every piece of food I put in mouth out of my pores...but I didn't do one blessed thing. Luckily for my training, I was only supposed to do 3 miles on Wednesday and Friday this week, so I didn't miss much. But I still feel so blah.

This week is going to be rough though. I am in it knees deep and my breathing isn't getting any better. This 100+ degree weather with over 95% humidity has kicked my butt. I get tight chested just walking to the car and running errands. Even though I am running inside a gym I feel like I am at a complete loss before I even start. Wednesday I am back to 7 miles. I WILL finish it this time...come hell or high water! Even if it means I have to slow down a bit, I will complete my 7 miles on Wednesday. Friday, I am doing 4 miles of tempo work and tomorrow I am going 4 easy miles. I am hoping to get that done bright and early tomorrow morning before it gets too hot, but we will see how it goes.

My goal this week is to finish every training goal for the week. Usually I skip out on one or two (or more) days of training and I want to finish one full week of training. It's just 7 days, one of which I don't do one blessed thing.

This sucks

This morning my DH suggested that we run together. We will go early and pace out the 3-mile tempo work run around the neighborhood. Great bonding time, I say...saves me a drive to the gym, I say. We do our .5 mile warm-up and we are tense already. I am frustrated that the dog is running in my way and then pulling left and right trying to figure out where she is in relationship to me and to the stroller. I am frustrated that Ben has the Garmin so I have no idea how fast or how far I am going to accurately pace myself...hence, I have to keep asking. I am at mile 1.5 and feel like my chest is going to explode. I keep getting more and more frustrated with my inability to run well (95% humidity and 85 degrees when we ran at 7:30AM.) so I keep getting a tone with Ben. I stop to catch my breath, Ben encourages me on. I stop again, Ben encourages me on. I stop again and Ben keeps going...I get irritated. I push on...I have to stop AGAIN to catch my breath, Ben calls me a quitter....run over.

I am not a quitter....but I did quit today. I gave up this morning but we did have words about his not so kind words. His idea of tough love is sometimes different than mine and while I was incredibly hurt that he said it, I understand that he thought he could push me through with that kind of tough love, I just don't respond to it like his soldiers do.

It is hard to feel like a failure though. I failed today. I couldn't finish....COULD NOT finish 3 miles. It was so tough this morning. Thank goodness tomorrow is an off day and this is a fairly easy week for me. I run no more than 3 miles on my run days, I will more than accomplish my walking on my off days and hopefully, I can find some time to do a little strength training, but if not, I am not terribly concerned. I am not a quitter....if I was, I would have quit this a long time ago.

The road to hell....

Is paved with good intentions. That is the theme since Sunday. My mom and dad came into town on Monday morning. Okay, no big deal. I did almost 40 minutes of yoga in the morning and felt so refreshed before the arrived. On Tuesday, while they were playing with Connor, I took the opportunity to get a strength trianing workout in and was doing great. Also got a little swim in in the mid-morning and felt very proud of myself and well-rounded.

Onto to today....I was amped to get to my 7-mile run!!! My morning was thrown off because I had to take the car to the shop and ate my breakfast on the way. Dropped the car off, went back home, took care of Connor. Because my mom and dad were leaving town, I was trying to wrestle with Ben to get him out of bed, Dakota was throwing up and I was trying to pack Connor and I to go to the gym...we were a little frazzled. No worries, got to the gym, no big deal. Dropped Connor off and I was on my towards 7 miles. I was really sucking on mile 3 and was begging for it to be over. I had already decided that I was going to stop the treadmill after 3.5 miles to reset because it turns off on you after 1 hour. I, instead, finished an hour at exactly 4 miles, stopped the treadmill, took a breath and was about to restart when I noticed Ben had been texting me. I got back on the treadmill and was cooking,..I got to about .5 miles and my curiosity and nervousness got the better of me as to why Ben was texting, so I got off the treadmill to go give him a call. Good thing too.....I was seeing stars when I stepped off. I called Ben to find out that the person he thought could give him a ride to work was already at work so I had to rush pick up Connor from daycare, rush home and take Ben to work. 7 miles...foiled.

I guess 4.5 miles is better than nothing at all, but I learned something VERY valuable this morning. I HAVE TO eat breakfast no more than 1 hour before I run. If I wait much longer than that, I get lightheaded and weak through my run. I am learning and growing each time I run and maybe, hopefully, I will get to a week where I run the entire distance of my run I am supposed to run.

Gotta keep the focus

I must keep my focus and energy. I failed miserably this last week and next week is going to be my first big test of the training cycle because I will be in Disney World with way too many distractions and I MUST find the time to get my workouts in...because goodness knows I won't be eating the way I should. I am noticing a lot about my body in terms of food. I feel so yucky when I don't eat right. I feel more sluggish, slow and heavy when I run and certainly less motivated to workout.

However, I did motivate myself enough, through the rain clouds and downpours, to run my easy run for the week. Two miles at a 13:55 pace. I know in my head how slow the pace was so I was taking it easy....I got so distracted in my own thoughts. I was thinking about what I needed to get done today, this week, was praying and meditating...before I knew it I was taking too easy! Snap to, Tiffany!! Pick it up and get this done.

I finished a little ahead of schedule, but with a clear mind and ready to take on the challenges...all the challenges of the week!

Speed work rocks my world

I went to the gym this morning to do my first speedwork session. A little nervous, to be honest, I knew it was going to be fast but trying to keep optimism on my side, I also knew it was only 1.5 miles speedwork with 1.25 miles jogging in between.

I did it...it flew by. Breathing was great, stride was awesome. I had such a great workout and added an extra .75 miles jogging....for posterity :) Or, at least, to make up for the laziness of the rest of the week.

Tomorrow is an off day so I will have nothing new to report but am ready to start a new week on Sunday!

Playing catch up

Monday, didn't do anything. Tuesday I was supposed to go to the gym for water aerobics, follow up with a min-strength training at the house and 3-mile walk or bike ride. Absolutely nothing happened! In the morning, Connor was having a fit and nothing was appeasing him. I also thought he may have been running a slight fever so I decided it wasn't in his best interest to go to go to daycare, which means I didn't make it to the gym for water aerobics. No big deal, I can do a strength training routine here at the house. Instead, I decided to color my hair. I don't think I could get any more productive than that!!

Anyway, I am back on track today and needed to catch up by hitting this one out of the park. I was supposed to run 6 miles in 13:55. Ben had to go in work late so I took advantage of the ability to go to the gym without Connor and headed out pretty early. I was doing really well, hitting my times. I got to the 3 mile mark and was starting to get tight in the chest but feeling really well. I stepped off the treadmill at 3.5 miles to catch me breath and take a sip of water. Jumped right back on and stepped off for a few seconds at 4 miles. I stayed on for almost another full mile and then all of a sudden, the treadmill stopped. Apparently, the treadmill, as a safety feature, shuts off after 1 hour. Damn it! All of my flow was gone. I got off, went to the bathroom and decided I needed to try and finish. I went back to the treadmill, hopped on and run for another .35 miles. I was about .7 miles from finishing my 6 mile goal, but honestly, I was soaked from head to toe from sweating so much. I literally had beads of sweat rolling down my arms and legs and was so tired! But really proud of myself for completing so many miles! That was really far for me and I know I can do so much better next time.

It was kind of funny though because when I got home, Ben and I took Connor to the pool to swim so we walked over to the community pool and then got in the water to swim for about 40 minutes. I made the joke that I completed my own little mini-triathalon today and am I feeling it....I am whipped!

A great bummer

Today was a great bummer! My training guide says I should be doing rest or strength training on Mondays. Well, since I already do strength training on Mondays and feel too lazy to "rest" twice a week, I have opted to slide a pilates/yoga session in there for something different to spice up my week. Ben was off today so, of course, pilates and/or yoga did not happen. But it's okay. We had such an amazing day, I am willing to let a workout slide in favor of fabulous family time.

In terms of any kind of physical activity- we took Connor to the pool for almost an hour. It's not strenuous...but then again, neither is pilates or yoga. I am still tweaking my workout routine and trying to find time and days to fit everything in that I feel like I need to fit in for a well-rounded workout week. Oh, and the diet....it's going.....great! As I dream about the king size Reese Cups that are in the freezer waiting for me and as I digest the mint chocolate chip ice cream we had as a treat since we were on that side of town.....yep, the diet is going swimmingly :)