Which Holiday Is It Again?

(**I tried to finish this last night but got home too late from church)

There are a TON of holidays on our calendars. Some I understand, some I definitely do not. We celebrate everything from Christmas and Thanksgiving to Arbor Day and Flad Day. Holidays like Earth Day, April Fool's Day, Groundhog Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day...heck, even Administrative Assistant's and the United Nations get a day! So it strikes me as strange that Holy Thursday isn't a "holiday." Most Christians don't even know what Holy Thursday, or Maundy Thursday is.

For me personally, today is second most important Christian holiday, behind Easter. (Yes, I am aware that I am not including Christmas in the top two.) Easter and Holy Thursday are my top 2 for one specific reason- they are the reasons we live in God's merciful peace and forgiveness. Holy Thursday is the day we remember Jesus dying on the cross. Can you imagine God coming to you and asking you to give up your child? Can you imagine God not only coming to you and asking you to give up your child but that your child would be ridiculed, tormented, beaten, spat upon, abused, and mercilessly put to death? God gave us his only child to die for the sins He we had committed yet. That's some pretty powerful stuff.

The Maundy Thursday service focuses on the events surrounding the last hours in Jesus' life. The word "Maundy" was derived from the Latin word "mandare" (to command), and Maundy Thursday stems from the commandment Jesus gave His disciples after washing their feet that night before His crucifixion: "A new commendment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you."

The service, also known as Tenebrae or Service of Shadows, is one of the oldest in the history of the Church. The service slows fades to darkness as we recount the events that led the darkness that fell over the earth on that first Good Friday when Christ was crucified on the cross. It is a truly powerful service to attend and one I would encourage you to, at the very least, try once and see how you feel about it. I mean, let's think about this realistically...we honor the death of Presidents, Martin Luther King, Jr., and don't even get me started on how we view the deaths of celebrities. But we only recognize Christ's resurrection? How is it that we are failing to honor and teach our children what had to happen for Christ to be born again? How are we overlooking the horror, the tragedy, the painful steps that Christ had to endure for each one of us?

One of the anthems sung last night had the following verses: "Alas! And did my SAvior bkeed, and did my Savior die? Would He devote that sacred head for sinners such as I? Was it for sins that I have done he groaned upon the tree? Amazing pity! Grace unknown! And love beyond degree! Well might the sun in darkness hide and shut its glories in, when Christ, the great Redeemer, died for human creatures' sin, thus might I hide my blushing face while His dear cross appears, dissolve my heart in thankfulness and melt my eyes to tear. But tears of grief cannot repay the debt of love I owe."

While the service is sad and emotionally draining, you leave with a humbling reassurance that God loved you so much that He chose this path for His only Son. He chose to do these things for you out of love. There is the hope that Easter morning will come and Christ will rise again. But the real message of my blog about this incredible and powerful Maundy Thursday? What would life be like without the joyous Easter message??

Now that was a workout!

I got a good jolt in the rear end yesterday. I was asked by a friend to go and meet her at the gym. Now, at the exact moment of the text we were still trying to get Connor down for a nap and Alaina was screaming her head off so I politely texted back that I wasn't going to be able to make it. She texted back "Give Ben the baby and get your butt over here." HA! Yes ma'am and away I went. I was so glad for the persistance of a good friend because it got my feet to the treadmill to run 30 straight minutes! I haven't run for 30 straight minutes in a year, at least. This was such a huge accomplishment for me and it was the "zing" I needed to feel re-energized about working out. You know the feeling I'm talking about...that rush that you finished your run. You kicked butt and took names! You pushed yourself just a little further than you thought you were going to be able to. I laid in bed last thinking about how grateful I was that she encouraged me yesterday because I felt so refreshed that I had a little bit of time away from the whining and demanding toddler and the crying and demanding infant. I did something for me.

I did something for me again today, I went back! I talked to my bestie, PJ, a few days ago. She is the most amazing athletic trainer I have ever worked with because she is so knowledgeable about a woman's body and the perfect workout for the kind of body you ultimately want. For example, my weightloss/fitness goals are to lose weight, get toned and get at a point where I can physically begin training for a half marathon this Fall. So the plan of attack is cardio and strength training on M, W and F and straight, good 'ol fashioned cardio on T and R. Definitely get weekends off. On strength training days to shed the pounds and tone up I am doing 3 sets of 12 reps with low weights and hitting every main muscle group in a fast circuit to keep the heart rate up. So this is the plan (and let me just tell you from experience today...this is a good workout. My shirt was soaked and I was literally dripping sweat!!)

One legged squats
Single leg kickbacks
Forward lunges

On the Stability Ball:
Hip Thrusts
Lower Back extension
Incline Dumbbell Press
Incline Bicep Curls
Crunches
Obliques with the weighted medicine ball
Bent over row
Tricep extension
Shoulder Press
Chest Fly

On the BOSU:
Plank hold into push-up's
Shifting or marching
Hamstring Tilt

The Invisible Mother

**So first, let me start with a little disclaimer: I wasn't going to write this post until closer to Mother's Day. I wanted to share a motivational piece I read months ago that meant so much to me. It was so moving, in fact, that (despite being 1-week post partum) it still brought me to tears. However, my dear friend, Kelly had a Facebook status that made me zoom this blog entry up a few weeks to motivate a need she had, which made me think that my other mom friends may have a need for a little reassurance as well.


Here we are....Kelly posted this morning something to the affect of 'I don't know if my husband could survive without me.' When I first read it this morning, I start chuckling to myself. One of those chuckles that had me shaking my head in agreement thinking 'aaahhhh, one of those kinds of days.' I have certainly had those days, weeks where I find myself thinking if my family would starve from hunger, stink from dirty clothes or at the most extreme survive if I wasn't around. Okay, so I know they would survive, but what kind of life would it be for them? I know I have blogged about this before but as the "mom" you wear so many hats, and usually many of them are at the same time. The chef, the personal trainer, the amusement park, the cleaning lady, the nurse, the laundress, the cheuaffuer (sp?), the secretary, the personal assistant, the shopper, the educator, the dog walker (at least in my case), the list is never ending. It feels like we are juggling 14 balls in the air at the same time and magically, we can do so without any of them dropping but it doesn't seem as if anyone else notices. It seems like we work all day long to make sure the laundry is done, the house is cleaned, the dinner is on the table on time, the kids have been actively engaged in something other than the television and the only time someone notices is when one of those things hasn't been done throughout the day. So in light of all that we do as moms, I share with you "The Invisible Mom." Please know that I did not write this nor do I know who did. It was passed on to me through a Bible Study and I love it so much. I hope you do too!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Pick me up at 5:30 please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball, 'Where is my other sock?', 'Where is my phone?', 'What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature- but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read- no, devour- the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked a man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, no one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall in place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn, no cupcake you've baked, not all the baseball games you went to, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what will become.'

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be build in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there....'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

The Queen of Unfinished Business

Yep, that's me. The Queen of Unfinished Business. I LOVE to start new things. I get the excitement, the rush, the passion to begin a new project, new book, new Bible Study, new workout plan (these are all the ones that are coming to mind right now because they are the ones sitting collecting dust somewhere). I start with energy. I start with enthusiasm and as time wears on and days and days pass by, my energy starts to fade. Heck, I have even forgotten most of my "New Year's Resolutions" at this point! It seems that life gets in the way of the things I want to do for myself. I find myself putting other things (the laundry, the screaming baby, the cleaning, the errands, the carpool, the obligations, etc.) all ahead of my own "list." My personal list that would allow me to have some me time. With a toddler and a newborn, who has heard of such a thing?? But I am getting worn down. I have never been the type of person of get any circles under my eyes from sleep deprivation and man oh man...if you could see me without makeup!!! I look like I just went 2 rounds with Mike Tyson. I am tired...so tired that I didn't hear the tornado warnings go off last week...and I'm a light sleeper!! My point is this. It's not just me being tired or other things getting in the way, although I love to use these as excuses. What is really boils down to is this- I get bored. The "sexiness" or the "newness" of whatever it is loses its appeal and I set it down, never to be heard from again. Well, my sister has inspired me this week. She is taking a fast from all things that distract her from God. She is setting down the internet, turning off the TV, cutting back on harmful things that go into her body (ie. fast and junk food) so she can recharge during this holiest of Christian weeks. I am inspired by her and while I am not internet or TV fasting. Caffeine is my lifeline right now so I probably won't be cutting that out either, what I am doing is taking something on to better myself. I have a fantastic Bible Study that I started weeks and weeks ago- The Frazzled Female. My goal is to pick it back up and if I can't complete it this week, I want to take a huge chunk out of it because I loved it so much when I was doing it. I am revamping my workout calendar, putting together something new for myself and am going to work hard to be diligent enough to make and take time to workout. My scrapbook that is sitting there that needs to be updated since Alaina's birth, yep, I am going to tackle that too and get caught up with the pages and events that have been going on. My sister, Jo, blogged about something that is sitting (at this exact moment) uneasy with me. It makes me uneasy because I am not doing it, any of it. She wrote about Seven Special Steps. 7 steps to a more fulfilled you...a fulfilled you in Christ. Things like: take time for rest (say what?!?), don't overproduce and spread yourself too thin (oops!), steward your energy and focus good 100% energy on a few things you should be doing instead of 50% energy of 400 things you are doing. Are you exercising and recharging daily (yeah, I'm not either)? So, it appears, my journey is never ending. It appears this journey to a new me isn't going to come easily and it's going to take a lot of effort and work, constantly. I need to be okay with that. So this week, my big prayers are for God to remind me to do what is actually important and to make time for the things on my list. Speaking of...I better get off here and get to work!!

So what is the goal here?

Good question....what is the goal here? What is my overall purpose and what are my expectations for my end results? Will I ever be finished? Before I tackle these not-so-easy questions, I actually have one for you: How did you do with my challenge for this past Sunday? Did you take advantage of your day, turn off the distractions and enjoy your families, hobbies or the weather? We did. I can happily report that after we got home from church we spent almost the entire day outside, and we all have the sunburns to prove it! This is also why I have been MIA from daily posting recently. I realized how MUCH I enjoyed not affixing myself to the TV or facebook. It was great and I have spent the last few days finding things to do other than these distractions. So now that beings me back to my blog post title. Yesterday after a super fun cardio workout on just a balance ball, Ben asked me what my overall weight goal is this time. Ideally, my ideal goal would be to weigh (and I can't believe I am putting this out into cyber-space) 105-108. This was where I was post-Connor, pre-moving. Right about the time I was running the half-marathon. I felt so confident and good in my skin. I worked hard but didn't beat myself up if we went out to eat and I had dessert after dinner. Post-move, post-baby, this puts me at about a 30 lb. weight loss target. I told Ben this and he just kind of looked at me and said, "Well, it's a goal to work towards." He's right, you know. Not that it is a goal to work towards, which it is, but that look that says "wow, you're being a little over-confident." He's right. I am being a little optimistic. I have lost 1 lb. so far, so says the scale at the OB's office. And it was that weight loss that made me change my "goal." My goal for weight loss after having 2 kids, being over 30 with a metabolism that hates me right now is to lose 1 lb. Yep, you just read that right. I want to lose 1 lb. And when I lose that 1 lb., I want to lose 1 lb. You see the method to the madness? Instead of shooting for the moon and beating myself up for taking steps back or falling down, I am going to wake up each morning and just put one foot infront of the other. Losing 1 lb. is going in the right direction and that it a fanastic goal for me. Ironically, during my run this afternoon I kept singing a little song in my head. Not a song actually, but the line from a song to keep me motivated. It's from Finding Nemo. It's the part where Dora keeps singing, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." That's all I'm going to do here...keep my head above water and just keep swimming.

How much is too much?

Well, I would love to have something cool and exciting to update you on in my lifestyle journey....but alas, it is the weekend (and a gorgeous one at that!!) and we spent the entire day outside playing and soaking up sun. I guess, in a way, that is part of my lifestyle change. We didn't do anything today but spend quality time outdoors. We lived a slow life today and it was incredible. I guess that is actually where I wanted to go with this tonight....the joys of living the slow life, the simple life. I read something a few weeks ago that has actually stuck with me. The information came from a book on financial security but the reality is, this particular message rings true with every facet of our lives for the current generations. How incredible and amazing it is to me that this is the most advance civilization ever. EVER. We have more medicine, technology, communications, knowledge all at our fingertips. More conveniences than ever before and yet we are the most depressed, overly medicated, unhealthiest, most financially irresponsible group of people. So many people want to quick fix, the fastest way to the results they want. This is why so many people try all those fad diets, play the lottery, go to the doctor for EVERYTHING and demand a pill for EVERYTHING. What happened to good ol' diet and exercise? Eating in moderation? Instead of playing the lottery and wasting your money on the "come on lucky 7's...momma needs a new pair of shoes" every week why aren't we living within our means and stashing away money into savings accounts and retirement accounts? What happened to preventative medicine? Instead of taking more and more drugs why aren't we taking care of ourselves in the first place? It is jaw-dropping to think about how quickly technology has advanced in the past 50 years...we can't even keep up! The second you figure out your new iphone, there is a new model out. So again I say, take a minute and slow down. I challenge you to spend your Sunday (tomorrow) enjoying your family. Really soak up the slow life. Find peace in a technology-free day and let me know how you do!

Change of Mind

This afternoon while I was running around the house, picking up laundry, decorating Alaina's room (finally) and sweeping and moping the floors, I thought about what my blog topic would be tonight. I, at first, wanted to lament about "the curse of the second child" and how slighted they seem to be because of their birth order. Maybe I will save that one for another time. Then I was definitely going to talk about post-pregnancy. The mushy tummy feeling that you have no excuse for since there isn't a baby in there anymore and that need to want to look and feel better. I will definitely get to that one...possibly tomorrow. As the night has worn on and my Facebook continues to explode with comments, posts and links about the government shut down, I changed my mind. I decided to change my topics and talk about stress. Praise the Lord that Ben and I don't live paycheck to paycheck anymore like some couples we know or like we used to live on an E4's salary. Trust me (you non-military readers) when I tell you that the pay, especially for lower enlisted soldiers, isn't anything to write home about. It is certainly more of the attitude that you get minimal pay and great benefits. I can't imagine the stress that some families are feeling right now. I can't imagine the anxiety seeping through all parts of the world, especially our men and women serving in a combat zone. Goodness knows they don't need to worry about the stresses at home since they have enough on their plate with, oh I don't know, piddly little things like keeping themselves alive!!!! The last thing they should have to start worrying about it where the money is going to come from to feed or house their families and they are 10,000 miles away. I am sad that the state of the Union is so poor that this is what our country has come to. We have let pride's, ego's and, realistically, stupid and poor planning turn our great nation into a joke. If the government of the United States of America was a business, it would have been bankrupt years ago. Corrupt as all of Capitol Hill has become, what is more disgusting than anything is that men and women who aren't getting paid will still continue to serve admirably. They will still go to work at 5:30am. and get home after dinner, missing seeing their kids for days on end. They will still miss birthdays, anniversaries, special days because they are out training. They will still deploy. Some will come back with a purple heart, some won't come back at all....and this is first group of people to get the cut. This is first group that Congress decides should be the leverage and negotiation point to get their stupid bills passed. Awesome way to show your respect for all these people have done for this country and way to remind us how important we are.

Putting Yourself First

I think one of the hardest things about being a mom is the idea of putting yourself first. I don't know how many mom's told me after I had Connor "make time for yourself;" "you'll be a better mom when you stop being a mom for an afternoon." I don't know about anyone else, but I have a really tough time with this. I felt split, constantly. I knew I wanted some time away, just for me and not listening for crying, whining or demands but when I was finally away, my mind was still stuck on Connor. Is he alright? Is he being good? Is he causing trouble? Does the person watching him know that when he does "this and that" it means "this and that"?? I finally got to a fairly good spot before we moved from Savannah. I went to the gym and got a good workout in with no issue. Well, relatively speaking...if you have ever dropped your kids off at the Gym CDC you know why the care there is always in the back of your mind. But here I am, dealing with the same things about Alaina. Ben and I took the kids to the RASP Gym last night so I could do my first strength training workout. The idea was that Ben could help me out, there was a mat room that Connor can safely play in and Alaina would sleep in her car seat. I couldn't through my cardio warm-up before I was distracted. Connor was playing on the elliptical and then the row machine, falling off the stairclimber. Luckily, there were very few other guys working out and they were so focused on their grunts and growls that they paid zero attention to my little fire team invading the gym. Regardless, I got through 25 minutes of mixed cardio and then moved to the weight room. Here, Alaina started fussing. Great! Ben had Connor occupied in the mat room but as I stood in the weight room with all the machines, I felt such an overwhelming sense of clausterphobia. I wasn't comfortable there and in fact, despite the massive amount of pounds I need to lose, I felt downright small. Small, as in insecure and out-of-place. Yikes! This is so daunting. I have worked out with weights since high school but instantaneously I felt completely out of my comfort zone and like a fish out of water. I got a workout in and it felt good but wowza... I am currently looking up circuit training programs online to try and get a good feel for the main things I want to do in the gym so I am not wasting time. As I am googling and finding an overload of information, Alaina is screaming bloody murder and like everything and every project I try to get done, I am finding myself rushing through and trying to wrap it up as quickly as possible.

mmmm....Jello

Have you noticed that you try to make yourself feel better about mediocrity by talking about it as if it were the best thing ever? That's how I feel about my jello tonight. Jello pudding is good, don't get me wrong. Chocolate jello pudding is a little better but in reality, what I really want is Bruester's Buckeye ice cream or some frozen Girl Scout Thin Mints....now THAT would be divinity. But, I am back on track after cinnamon rolls for breakfast and some leftover pizza for lunch and so I am thoroughly enjoying my chocolate jello pudding. I (typically) have the best motivation for sticking to my goals when I get a good workout in and, in fact, the entire day was great. My run went really well this morning and I used it again for some good meditation and conversation with God. Well, the conversation was good when I stopped focusing on my double sports bra that was holding the girls in place but cramming my waist down and then all I felt was all that baby cush left around the middle. *Sigh...

Oh my

Yep...really no words to explain yesterday than...oh my. It was finals week for Ben and since we were traveling all last week, everything was crammed into a few short days culminating with a long weekend of Ben being gone to the library, late night writing sessions and an entire Sunday (from 6:00am.-midnight) of working non-stop on the remaining research papers, exams, and discussion boards he had left. Which left me, to do the rest. I'm not gonna lie to ya, I was so frustrated. However, I don't mind picking up the slack because all these college courses are working towards finishing his degree to better our future. Me picking up the slack, incredible exhaustion and a gorgeous weather weekend means there is much to be desired in every aspect of what I am trying to do here. The house right now is almost laughable. I literally could not find a spot on the counter to put a plate to make Connor's breakfast or pour his milk. I literally can not walk in the laundry room because so much has piled around the washer and dryer and to boot- Connor has ZERO clean jammies left to wear to bed tonight. There are ZERO overnight diapers left and I can't find my steambags to clean Alaina's binks or breastpumping stuff. The fridge is jammed packed with food falling out when you open the door with all the good and healthy things I bought on Thursday to help me accomplish my weight loss goals and I buckled under the weight of Connor's whining and my laziness for an easy morning and had cinnamon rolls...again. I feel like this is exactly why women have mental breakdowns. Mom's go crazy and fall off the deep end. I'm not saying I'm there...not even close. But you try so hard to create a kind of order and serenity for your home, and that idea is AMAZING until the dog walks in with dirt on her paws, and the baby cries because she's hungry and then spits up all over the place and then cries some more and your toddler whines about the un-fairness of life because you put on Mickey instead of Jake and the Neverland Pirates or the cheerios he begged for 3 minutes ago isn't what he wanted at all and should I even start on husbands?!?! But you know what....I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, maybe a maid service every 2 weeks would be nice. And Curtis Stone to cook my oh-so nutritious and delicious meals for my family...possibly Bob and Jillian to whip my post-pregnancy butt in to shape (well, maybe not Jillian, she would make me cry). But honestly, I love my life. I am blessed that God put Ben in my life. I am doubly blessed for my beautiful (if not ornry sometimes) and amazing children. Life is good, you know? Stinky diapers, muddy paws, a lawn that needs to be cut, laundry that needs to be done- it's all okay. It will get done and just so you all know...this is not usually my personality. All these things that need to be done would normally put me into panic mode overdrive, but I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. There will be enough time to get it all done and if there's not....well, there's always tomorrow.

And a sigh just about sums it up

Well, I guess the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" is just about appropriate now. Not a complete bust, but man....when I fall off the short lived wagon, I want to jump right into the abyss and end the day on a high (or low- depending on your view point) note. Now, weekends are "free" workout days. I only planned on working out M-F but this morning, Ben suggested going to the gym so I could lift this morning. We would take the kids and he would let Connor roll around on the wrestling mats. Sounded like a fabulous plan....until Ben couldn't get his butt in gear. It took him 2 hours from the time we "woke up" to the time he actually decided to open his eyes and get up. Pathetic. Must be nice to sit on the recliner with cartoons on to keep Connor occupied while holding Alaina so she stays quiet and continue to sleep, while Mommy does some laundry, cleans up the kitchen and gets things ready and prepped for the day. But, I am also working on strengthing my relationship with my husband so I gently ask him 472 times to please wake up and get moving. Instead of going to workout out, we go to Walmart to get a new propane tank for the grill. I guess this ended up being a good thing because a lot of dinner plans for the next few weeks include grilled veggies, chicken and fish. I did make homemade gazpacho for lunch. Talk about yummy! I was mildly surprised. Full of veggies with a little bit of a kick and paired with a turkey sandwich...yum-o! Oh, and a side note, I bought that dessert gum at Walmart too. It tastes like Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. It gives my mouth something to do inbetween meals when I am itching for something sweet. Spending time with my kids...yep have that one covered too. Last night, Connor and I had a date night to watch Tangled on the big screen under the stars. And when I say big screen I mean big screen!! It was the size of a drive-in theatre. He sat with his girlfriends for the first 20-30 minutes and then after that, Mommy's lap was the seat of choice and I couldn't have been more excited. Connor hasn't cuddled with me like that since he was breastfeeding and was forced to. Every once in ahilw during the movie, I would lay my head back in my chair, look up at the stars with Connor nuzzling under my chin and feel overwhelming blessings. For as frustrating as Connor can make me, he can also be so supremely sweet and loving. Overall, another good day. Wrapping up with baths for everyone and some basketball. Church tomorrow, hopefully a really good sermon will set the week off on the perfect foot.

Day 1

I don't think I could have picked a more perfect time to start this new adventure. Day 1 is almost at a close and I am pleased with how it went. So here is the update from today. I figured out that I wasn't very prepared for my "diet" part of this mess. I needed to have a couple things prepped that I forgot about and so in the future, I need to really pay attention to my menus for the next couple days to make sure I have everything to prevent slip-up's. Slip-up number 1 was the absolutely divine cinnamon roll I chowed down on before I went for my first C25K workout. I make Connor cinnamon rolls every Friday and there was no way I could resist their ooey-gooey yumminess with a warm cup of hazelnut coffee first thing in the morning. Slip-up number 2 was the chicken nuggets I shared with Connor for lunch (this is where I forgot to prep!) But otherwise, I followed it all and felt really good and suprisingly, not nearly as hungry as I thought I was going to be! As I already mentioned, day 1 of C25K went well. It was 20 minutes total, alternating between walking for 90 seconds and jogging for 60. If you saw my "jogging" you would crack up. Anyone with a normal leg length could easily keep up with a brisk power walk! But I did it and as a bonus....I used my entire quiet, non-music time to praise the Lord for all the blessings I saw along the way. The gorgeous sun, the cool breeze, the Springtime birds singing, the wildflowers (otherwise known as weeds) in people's yards I passed. I praised Him for a husband who has the ability to let me get in early runs and that we were able to purchase another vehicle so I didn't have to drive him to the library this morning. It was like a 20-minute meditation and conversation with God and when I got home, I felt incredible! My time with Connor and Alaina was blessed as well. Instead of camping out in front of the computer or what-have-you today, I got 3 loads of laundry done, cleaned the kitchen and dining room, put away some clothes and still had time to play play-doh with Connor, color with chalk on the driveway, go on a walk with a pit-stop at the park and do a few puzzles together as well as cuddle with Alaina on the couch while Connor took his nap. Trust me, I am not blogging about this to toot my own horn but the amount I got done today when I shut off the triggers that are major distractions for me was astounding. But I think the major helper today, was that first thing in the morning, I asked God to help me. I knew I couldn't and can't make these life changes on my own. I need help and, as always, He stepped right in the show me I could do this as long as I keep inviting God on my journey. I would love to have everyone continue following me on this journey, but I won't be posting my blog updates any longer on Facebook. If you would like to get the latest blogs about my journey, please become a follower of the blog or check back daily!