And a sigh just about sums it up

Well, I guess the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" is just about appropriate now. Not a complete bust, but man....when I fall off the short lived wagon, I want to jump right into the abyss and end the day on a high (or low- depending on your view point) note. Now, weekends are "free" workout days. I only planned on working out M-F but this morning, Ben suggested going to the gym so I could lift this morning. We would take the kids and he would let Connor roll around on the wrestling mats. Sounded like a fabulous plan....until Ben couldn't get his butt in gear. It took him 2 hours from the time we "woke up" to the time he actually decided to open his eyes and get up. Pathetic. Must be nice to sit on the recliner with cartoons on to keep Connor occupied while holding Alaina so she stays quiet and continue to sleep, while Mommy does some laundry, cleans up the kitchen and gets things ready and prepped for the day. But, I am also working on strengthing my relationship with my husband so I gently ask him 472 times to please wake up and get moving. Instead of going to workout out, we go to Walmart to get a new propane tank for the grill. I guess this ended up being a good thing because a lot of dinner plans for the next few weeks include grilled veggies, chicken and fish. I did make homemade gazpacho for lunch. Talk about yummy! I was mildly surprised. Full of veggies with a little bit of a kick and paired with a turkey sandwich...yum-o! Oh, and a side note, I bought that dessert gum at Walmart too. It tastes like Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. It gives my mouth something to do inbetween meals when I am itching for something sweet. Spending time with my kids...yep have that one covered too. Last night, Connor and I had a date night to watch Tangled on the big screen under the stars. And when I say big screen I mean big screen!! It was the size of a drive-in theatre. He sat with his girlfriends for the first 20-30 minutes and then after that, Mommy's lap was the seat of choice and I couldn't have been more excited. Connor hasn't cuddled with me like that since he was breastfeeding and was forced to. Every once in ahilw during the movie, I would lay my head back in my chair, look up at the stars with Connor nuzzling under my chin and feel overwhelming blessings. For as frustrating as Connor can make me, he can also be so supremely sweet and loving. Overall, another good day. Wrapping up with baths for everyone and some basketball. Church tomorrow, hopefully a really good sermon will set the week off on the perfect foot.

Day 1

I don't think I could have picked a more perfect time to start this new adventure. Day 1 is almost at a close and I am pleased with how it went. So here is the update from today. I figured out that I wasn't very prepared for my "diet" part of this mess. I needed to have a couple things prepped that I forgot about and so in the future, I need to really pay attention to my menus for the next couple days to make sure I have everything to prevent slip-up's. Slip-up number 1 was the absolutely divine cinnamon roll I chowed down on before I went for my first C25K workout. I make Connor cinnamon rolls every Friday and there was no way I could resist their ooey-gooey yumminess with a warm cup of hazelnut coffee first thing in the morning. Slip-up number 2 was the chicken nuggets I shared with Connor for lunch (this is where I forgot to prep!) But otherwise, I followed it all and felt really good and suprisingly, not nearly as hungry as I thought I was going to be! As I already mentioned, day 1 of C25K went well. It was 20 minutes total, alternating between walking for 90 seconds and jogging for 60. If you saw my "jogging" you would crack up. Anyone with a normal leg length could easily keep up with a brisk power walk! But I did it and as a bonus....I used my entire quiet, non-music time to praise the Lord for all the blessings I saw along the way. The gorgeous sun, the cool breeze, the Springtime birds singing, the wildflowers (otherwise known as weeds) in people's yards I passed. I praised Him for a husband who has the ability to let me get in early runs and that we were able to purchase another vehicle so I didn't have to drive him to the library this morning. It was like a 20-minute meditation and conversation with God and when I got home, I felt incredible! My time with Connor and Alaina was blessed as well. Instead of camping out in front of the computer or what-have-you today, I got 3 loads of laundry done, cleaned the kitchen and dining room, put away some clothes and still had time to play play-doh with Connor, color with chalk on the driveway, go on a walk with a pit-stop at the park and do a few puzzles together as well as cuddle with Alaina on the couch while Connor took his nap. Trust me, I am not blogging about this to toot my own horn but the amount I got done today when I shut off the triggers that are major distractions for me was astounding. But I think the major helper today, was that first thing in the morning, I asked God to help me. I knew I couldn't and can't make these life changes on my own. I need help and, as always, He stepped right in the show me I could do this as long as I keep inviting God on my journey. I would love to have everyone continue following me on this journey, but I won't be posting my blog updates any longer on Facebook. If you would like to get the latest blogs about my journey, please become a follower of the blog or check back daily!

The countdown is on

Less than 24 hours and I embark on my life-change. It sounds so monumental when I put it in writing but in reality, it is everything I should be doing anyway. Looking at all the changes I am trying to make and all the ways in which I am trying to be better, I realize how slacking I have become in so many aspects of my life. I have been slacking in taking care of myself, fueling and strengthening the relationship with my husband, not finding enough time with my kids, not dedicating enough time to encouraging Connor to learn and grow. I have been especially failing in my relationship with God. I am pretty certain that if I were to put 1/10 of my efforts into any one of these over the time I spend on Facebook or catching up on tivo, I wouldn't beat myself up as much. Please don't misinterprete what I am writing here. I don't think I am a horrible mother. I think I am a normal mom who delivered 9-weeks ago and has been trying to adjust to not only 2 children, but adjusting to one very sweet little girl with some very big health problems. I know I am not a neglecting wife, but I have had a few other things on my mind besides being supportive and encouraging of the things that Ben is dealing with in his life. I know I am not obese but I am uncomfortable in my skin and not feeling good about myself. I know I am not an atheist and I have not turned my back on God, but I am feeling sin-sick and neglectful of giving Him His due praise and enough of my time to thank Him for all the blessings He constantly showers on me. I will use my blog for the next however many days to keep a journal, if you will. Keep you updated on my progress. My high's and low's and everything in between. So here is the overall plan: Healthy lifestyle: Following the Biggest Loser 30-day Jump Start diet for the next 2-weeks and then alternating working out. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I will run the c25k program and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be doing some kind of cardio other than running and adding in strength training. Relationship with Ben: Date Night once a month and committing to spending one on one time with him without the distractions of the computer/phone/TV, etc. Relationship with my children: Turning off the computer/phone/TV to be focused on what it is they are doing and desperately needing from me. If I have learned anything, these years fly by too fast for me to look back and say I was too busy to enjoy my time with Connor and Alaina. Relationship with God: Dedicating time every morning to pray and read Scripture and then I am going to start reading the book, The Great House of God by Max Lucado. Alright, well.....tonight, I am enjoying lasagna and (hopefully) ice cream because tomorrow is begins!

April Fool's

Maybe I am a fool for taking on so many changes to begin on one day but, regardless we are trying and here it goes. April 1 I am making a change. I am starting my weight loss journey (to shed this lazy and left-over baby weight), I am starting training for a (or many) half marathons, I am getting back into the habit of saving my family money through cost cutting measures and smart shopping, I am making a point to turn off the TV and computer so it is not a distraction from the life that is happening around me. I am taking a new outlook on how I approach my days. When I wake up in the morning, even if I may be exhausted and worn down, I am hitting my feet on the ground as the sun comes up with joy in my heart and praise on my lips that the Lord blessed me with another morning to love on my kids and provide a peaceful sanctuary for my family. I feel like recently the Lord has been on my heart and pointing me in almost every direction towards the Proverb about the noble woman. I know it is crazy high ambition to be like the Lord's noble woman, but everywhere I turn I see this verse in my life and I am, for the very first time in my life, listening closely to what God wants me to do and who He wants me to be. I am going to take care of my body, mind and soul. I am going to provide for my family without earning a dollar from working outside the home. I will make my family a home they can call "peaceful," "harmonious," "blessed," and "loving."