I'm a Woman

Have you ever heard that song? It's from Smokey Joe's Cafe. One particular verse says, "I can rub and scrub till this old house is shinin' like a dime; Feed the baby, grease the car and powder my face at the same time. Get all dressed up, go out and swing till 4 am and then lay down at five, jump up at six and start all over again 'cause I'm a woman.....Double U- O- M- A- N."

Sound familiar? I think so too. I have been pretty impressed by women lately. What incredible creatures we are and what we are capable of doing day in and day out. This whole thought process came to me in (unfortunately) a moment of pride. Ben has been sick this weekend and it has really been the worst I have ever seen him. I decided the last couple nights to sleep on the couch and as I woke up this morning at 5:30am. cranky and with an aching back, I grumbled to myself about why I offered to sleep on the not-near-big-enough couch and I remembered (as I was soooooo proud of my wifely accomodations) that Ben needed a good sound night of sleep to help fight off whatever he has and my kicking him all night because he is snorning probably wouldn't help remedy the situation. But it got me thinking about being a woman in general. So much is expected of us and we are capable of so much that I am awed by being a woman. We selflessly offer the bed to our sick husbands so they can heal, we stay up all night listening to our sick babies cough in their sleep, we brew the coffee and let the dog out and get the milk sippy ready all at the same time, we are the organizational engineers of our homes.

I read a passage once in the book, "Power of a Praying Wife." At the time, I hated every second of the book. I felt like it degrated a woman as a wife into being the lower class citizen in a marriage. The line said, "The husband is the head of the household, but the wife will always be the heart." Eww, how I fought that when I read it!! But, after really thinking about it and thinking about every couple I know, it is so true. Men do hold a lot of stock in the ability to provide for their families, but women hold stock in the ability to care for the ones we love. We manage an entire household by giving it all of ourselves. We are, by nature, givers and tend to feel a lot of joy from giving to the people we hold most dear.

I thought that maybe this head/heart roles of the relationship and home only applied because Ben was the only one working and I was the one who ran the house and am raising our son but it's not the case. Women are the heart regardless of one or more or no children, whether they work outside or inside the home, whether there is a lot of money to go around or if it is tight at the end of the month. My mother and mother-in-law both worked outside the home when we were growing up and they put in as many hours as our dad's did but when they got home, the professional hat came off, Mommy hat came on and they picked up second shift of their second job....the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything else. I'm not saying that dad's don't pitch in...but the man and dad of the house is better at different things. Women are good at providing all the love, all the nurturing, all those non-event specific memories of a home that we tend to remember when we think about our childhood's. I am so proud to be a woman. I am proud that I have the capacity to provide for my children love and respect for women that men can't. This isn't man-bashing, this is woman-praising.

Is there a woman who is your role model? Do you admire her for any reason? Have you told her what an incredible woman she is? You should! Celebrate women and celebrate being a woman.....fully capable of doing it all! "I can stretch a green back dolla bill from here to kingdom come; I can play the numbers, pay my bills and still end up with some. I gotta twenty dollar goldpiece that says there's nothing I can't do. I can make a dress out of a feedbag and make a man outta you 'cause I'm a woman. Double U- O- M- A- N! I'll say it again. Cause I'm a woman, Double U- O- M- A- N and that's all."

And in this corner

Is the amazing juggling woman.....watch her as she glides through her day juggling 15 hoops all at one time and isn't it incredible...she only drops one or two at a time at any given time ;)

Hahaha- I am a big fan of analogies and the "Amazing Juggling Woman" feels like the perfect fit for this week. I read a book, actually finished a book, last night that I can honestly say has changed my life as a wife. It is called "Redeeming Love" and was recommended to me by another Christian, military wife. I am specific in describing her because it is important to note that the book is religious fiction (it is actually labeled as romance-fiction). It completely opened my eyes to some important facts I had glazed over about marriage...real truths (from a religious point of view) that I had missed in the almost 5 years I have been married.

We military wives tend to play the part of the martyr REALLY well without ever meaning to. Most of us never want people calling with their sympathy when our husbands are on another deployment, we are incredibly self-sufficient, independent and empowered women. I would go so far as to say that many of us are "role models" to the outside world because we do what most wives don't want to think about- keep our heads held high, the house running beautifully and we seem to keep making it work while our marriages keep going strong. But we also tend to look down at "outside" wives because they don't understand and will never understand that feeling of being so completely empty without your other half, that insane feeling of loneliness at night when you are settling down before bed....you get the picture. The book really opened my eyes to my placing my husband where my God ought to be. I expect my husband to really fill up my heart when, in fact, that isn't his job as my husband. It is God's job (as I am willing and accepting) to fill my heart and for my husband to provide love and companionship.

So, here we are at the amazing juggling woman....after reading this book, meditating and praying about it, I have thrown another ring in the air. The ring to be a better, more supportive, less expecting (that my husband can provide everything) wife. I have thrown the ring in the air to provide everything I can for Connor and not gripe about being exhausted but praise because I am blessed with a fantastic and loving child. I have thrown the ring in the air to be a better military wife and not complain when the job calls my husband away because I can proudly say that my husband has a job that brings honor to our family; that he CHOOSES to serve his country and I CHOOSE to stay married and be faithful makes it impossible for me to be negative about the lifestyle we lead. I throw my ring in the air to be a better "housewife" (noted to be different from wife) that my making the decision to be a stay-at-home mom didn't mean that my job was to play with Connor and that was I got to do, but my fulltime job is running a smooth and efficient household and all it entails. I throw my ring in the air to be a more faithful child of God, to not only ask of Him in times of need and despair to hold my hand through the fires, but also to praise His name for the glorious proverbial sunshine of my life. I have thrown my ring in the air to be a better friend, sister, mother, child, wife and person because it is not only what is expected of me, but more importantly what I expect of myself and I am firmly confident that by being the amazing juggling woman who has love for others and joy in my heart I will find the peace and contentment I long to have.

So fake

I seem to be meeting a lot of fake people lately...or realizing how many people I thought were friends are "fake friends." I have a lot of qualities about myself I wish I could change...being fake is not a quality I possess. I (generally) will always be nice to you because I am a nice person and I (generally) like everyone. I also find myself giving others a lot of second, third, fourth, etc. chances because I do believe in the inherent goodness of others- even if it is to my detriment.

I am so over people who are fake. I would rather have two friends who are true and honest than 100 fake friends who are talking about me behind my back. It is too exhausting for me and I don't need your bad karma in a 40 foot radius of myself or my family.

And good will come

I will be honest here....my running is completely selfish. I wanted to start running for so many reasons and absolutely zero of them were/are for the benefit of anyone other than myself.

* I started running to rid myself of the extra/leftover baby fat that made me feel like a beached whale.

*I started running to have something to call mine.....it had nothing to do with being Ben's wife, Connor's mother, SSG Boyce's wife, etc. It was all mine.

*I started running as something to do to help pass the time. Being a stay-at-home mom has a handful of challenges that working moms don't ever face...trying to fill the hours. There is more than enough to do around the house during a day to keep me busy but who wants to spend all day every day inside your home??

*I started running because I felt like those closest to me didn't think I could do it.

All selfish! Even my last blog about crossing the finish line was selfish...it was about the feeling I got when I crossed the line and the feeling of accomplishment I felt from having completed a goal I worked so hard to reach.

Then I got an email from my step-mom who also completed the race. Turns out, for all my selfishness and self-serving, good came to others from my being part of the largest Disney Marathon Weekend to date and the largest combination race weekend in the country. Organizers collected more than 26,000 pounds of shed clothing along the race route (my sister and I did our part by "donating/shedding" two sweatshirts and two pairs of socks) which will be washed by Disney Textile Services and the donated to Coalition for the Homeless and the Salvation Army of Central Florida. In addition, runners collected $5.4 million dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. How incredible to be part of something so much bigger than I!