The countdown is on

Less than 24 hours and I embark on my life-change. It sounds so monumental when I put it in writing but in reality, it is everything I should be doing anyway. Looking at all the changes I am trying to make and all the ways in which I am trying to be better, I realize how slacking I have become in so many aspects of my life. I have been slacking in taking care of myself, fueling and strengthening the relationship with my husband, not finding enough time with my kids, not dedicating enough time to encouraging Connor to learn and grow. I have been especially failing in my relationship with God. I am pretty certain that if I were to put 1/10 of my efforts into any one of these over the time I spend on Facebook or catching up on tivo, I wouldn't beat myself up as much. Please don't misinterprete what I am writing here. I don't think I am a horrible mother. I think I am a normal mom who delivered 9-weeks ago and has been trying to adjust to not only 2 children, but adjusting to one very sweet little girl with some very big health problems. I know I am not a neglecting wife, but I have had a few other things on my mind besides being supportive and encouraging of the things that Ben is dealing with in his life. I know I am not obese but I am uncomfortable in my skin and not feeling good about myself. I know I am not an atheist and I have not turned my back on God, but I am feeling sin-sick and neglectful of giving Him His due praise and enough of my time to thank Him for all the blessings He constantly showers on me. I will use my blog for the next however many days to keep a journal, if you will. Keep you updated on my progress. My high's and low's and everything in between. So here is the overall plan: Healthy lifestyle: Following the Biggest Loser 30-day Jump Start diet for the next 2-weeks and then alternating working out. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I will run the c25k program and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be doing some kind of cardio other than running and adding in strength training. Relationship with Ben: Date Night once a month and committing to spending one on one time with him without the distractions of the computer/phone/TV, etc. Relationship with my children: Turning off the computer/phone/TV to be focused on what it is they are doing and desperately needing from me. If I have learned anything, these years fly by too fast for me to look back and say I was too busy to enjoy my time with Connor and Alaina. Relationship with God: Dedicating time every morning to pray and read Scripture and then I am going to start reading the book, The Great House of God by Max Lucado. Alright, well.....tonight, I am enjoying lasagna and (hopefully) ice cream because tomorrow is begins!

April Fool's

Maybe I am a fool for taking on so many changes to begin on one day but, regardless we are trying and here it goes. April 1 I am making a change. I am starting my weight loss journey (to shed this lazy and left-over baby weight), I am starting training for a (or many) half marathons, I am getting back into the habit of saving my family money through cost cutting measures and smart shopping, I am making a point to turn off the TV and computer so it is not a distraction from the life that is happening around me. I am taking a new outlook on how I approach my days. When I wake up in the morning, even if I may be exhausted and worn down, I am hitting my feet on the ground as the sun comes up with joy in my heart and praise on my lips that the Lord blessed me with another morning to love on my kids and provide a peaceful sanctuary for my family. I feel like recently the Lord has been on my heart and pointing me in almost every direction towards the Proverb about the noble woman. I know it is crazy high ambition to be like the Lord's noble woman, but everywhere I turn I see this verse in my life and I am, for the very first time in my life, listening closely to what God wants me to do and who He wants me to be. I am going to take care of my body, mind and soul. I am going to provide for my family without earning a dollar from working outside the home. I will make my family a home they can call "peaceful," "harmonious," "blessed," and "loving."

Should I?

After Connor was born, I used the excuse of "I'm training for a half-marathon" to get into pre-baby shape and ended up being in the best shape since the day I got married. It was a little bit of a self-esteem boost to hear my husband making comments like "I haven't seen you so in shape since before we got married." Knowing he was noticing all the hard work I was putting in felt so good and then we had the downhill spiral. We had a lot of pre-moving stress with the house not selling, an upcoming move to Fort Benning, on top of a ton of other things going on. Then the move and it got worse...eating out because it was easier than cooking and then we got pregnant and oh man...those reese cups sure made my baby girl happy! Now, 8-weeks post-partum I tried on some dresses for a wedding we are going to. *GASP! I don't fit in anything. I'm not talking the normal baby belly pudge still left from delivering my beautiful, sweet girl. I am talking about residual from weeks of stress, traveling back and forth to hospitals and trying to now figure out scheduling a toddler and a newborn.

I tried to start watching what I ate weeks ago. I hadn't been physically cleared from my OB yet, but I wanted to try and utilize those breastfeeding calorie burners to my benefit. WRONG! Murphy's Law happens and Connor has a high fever and intense stomach pains and then Alaina ends up with RSV. The best laid plans.....

Now, our house is healthy and I reset my "start" date for April 1. We will have returned from our trip up north, have a few days to settle in and a good day to go grocery shopping. So as I start planning out my workout calendar and menu ideas, I get an email about the Disney Endurance Weekend. I (out of curiosity sake) open the email to take a peek. A new option for the marathon weekend....the relay. The wheels in my head, at this point, are turning. Could I do this? I make a post on Facebook about and within a few hours, I get a reponse my sister that she had gotten the same email. "Are we crazy?" she asks. "Probably!" I say and think. And then I really think about it.....

Could I physically do that? Could I physically and mentally not only do 1 half-marathon but 2 in 2 days? Can we afford the expense of 2 marathons and 2 nights of hotel rooms to get to the marathons? Can we afford the plan ticket to fly down to Orlando? Again, can I physically do this? What in the world is it going to take to get me 30 lbs. lighter and conditioned to run a marathon? What am I going to do with the kids this summer while I need to run/train?

What to do? What to do?