We are t-minus our first PCS (permanent change of station). This is my first taste of the bittersweet effects of a military move. When I moved away from home to Hunter Army Airfield with Ben the morning after we got married, I had a tough time. I cried my eyes out saying good-bye to my family and the life I had known for almost 25 years.
This is different. The excitement of a new adventure is the same, but when I left my friends and family in Ohio, I knew I would see them again. They have been a part of my life for so long that I knew moving wouldn't diminish the relationships I shared with any of them, despite the distance and few times I got to come back to Cincinnati. When you make a military move, you know as you take those last things off the wall and watch the movers pack up your life that you may never again see some of the people that (for your time at your current duty station) were the backbone of your world. It's not for lack of want, but lack of finances that make it impossible to see some friends again.....only fate let's you meet again somewhere in the world under different circumstances at yet another duty station.
Some of these women I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know here at Hunter may not be my best friends who know me better than all others...but they became my sisters. They were the only ones who knew the sadness and loneliness of deployments and the joy and overwhelming excitment at a 4-day weekend. They are the blessed few who understand the anticipation of another "honeymoon" because their husbands are coming home from another deployment and no one judges you because you disappear for a few days or weeks while you try and figure things out with the husband who came home from a long TDY. We are at each others baby showers and kids birthday parties, we share struggles and triumphs, we cry and laugh at the same "war stories." These women start book clubs, Bible studies, lunch groups and playdates to help pass the time and stay connected. I have known so many of these ladies for less than 2 years and the connection we share is beyond what words can express.
I am so grateful that these women have been a part of my life through such a challenging past 5 years. I couldn't be more excited for the next chapter in our lives at Fort Benning. We are going to experience, for the very first time, what it means to be a family. To have the time to bond without the threat of a deployment looming overhead, the thrill of having weekends to actually do an activity outside of a 30 minute radius, the joy of a fairly predictable schedule....but I am so sad. I am so sad that I am leaving behind another family. The bittersweet taste is hard to swallow even though I know it is beautiful and wonderful things in our future. Best make the most of these last two weeks and make them count!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
We went to church last night for Ash Wednesday services. I was going to go by myself because Ben was still a little under the weather and service started at 6:00pm., which is nearing on Connor's bedtime. Last minute, Ben thought it would be good to go as a family. I was thrilled that he thought so but a little apprehensive because I know what Connor is like in church, doubled with an incredibly out of routine night.
Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite church services; it symbolizes so much in the Christian faith. Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, the beginning of the 40 days Jesus went into the wilderness right before holy week and my very favorite holiday of them all, Easter. The entire season of Lent means so much to me because it is a very tangible reminder that we are capable of starting over, starting fresh. Lent usually falls right smackdab into the beginning of Spring and what better reminder of a beautiful, fresh start than the sun shining, birds singing, tulips, daylilies, and all those gorgeous spring flowers in bloom? I really love this time of year.
Outside of the religious significance of Lent, the sermon last night was about internal vs. external appearances. How much time, money and energy we spend to look "beautiful." Unfortunately, internally, most of us aren't that great. They don't sell Sephora for the soul.
Now, don't get me wrong. I make it a priority to look presentable and I don't think anyone expects you to stop taking care of yourself but the point is this. Are you investing as much time being the best person you can be? Is it anywhere near as much time as you invest on your external appearance? What a great season to start making some changes so the internal and external are more in line.
And P.S.- Connor was a great boy in church!
Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite church services; it symbolizes so much in the Christian faith. Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, the beginning of the 40 days Jesus went into the wilderness right before holy week and my very favorite holiday of them all, Easter. The entire season of Lent means so much to me because it is a very tangible reminder that we are capable of starting over, starting fresh. Lent usually falls right smackdab into the beginning of Spring and what better reminder of a beautiful, fresh start than the sun shining, birds singing, tulips, daylilies, and all those gorgeous spring flowers in bloom? I really love this time of year.
Outside of the religious significance of Lent, the sermon last night was about internal vs. external appearances. How much time, money and energy we spend to look "beautiful." Unfortunately, internally, most of us aren't that great. They don't sell Sephora for the soul.
Now, don't get me wrong. I make it a priority to look presentable and I don't think anyone expects you to stop taking care of yourself but the point is this. Are you investing as much time being the best person you can be? Is it anywhere near as much time as you invest on your external appearance? What a great season to start making some changes so the internal and external are more in line.
And P.S.- Connor was a great boy in church!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I'm a Woman
Have you ever heard that song? It's from Smokey Joe's Cafe. One particular verse says, "I can rub and scrub till this old house is shinin' like a dime; Feed the baby, grease the car and powder my face at the same time. Get all dressed up, go out and swing till 4 am and then lay down at five, jump up at six and start all over again 'cause I'm a woman.....Double U- O- M- A- N."
Sound familiar? I think so too. I have been pretty impressed by women lately. What incredible creatures we are and what we are capable of doing day in and day out. This whole thought process came to me in (unfortunately) a moment of pride. Ben has been sick this weekend and it has really been the worst I have ever seen him. I decided the last couple nights to sleep on the couch and as I woke up this morning at 5:30am. cranky and with an aching back, I grumbled to myself about why I offered to sleep on the not-near-big-enough couch and I remembered (as I was soooooo proud of my wifely accomodations) that Ben needed a good sound night of sleep to help fight off whatever he has and my kicking him all night because he is snorning probably wouldn't help remedy the situation. But it got me thinking about being a woman in general. So much is expected of us and we are capable of so much that I am awed by being a woman. We selflessly offer the bed to our sick husbands so they can heal, we stay up all night listening to our sick babies cough in their sleep, we brew the coffee and let the dog out and get the milk sippy ready all at the same time, we are the organizational engineers of our homes.
I read a passage once in the book, "Power of a Praying Wife." At the time, I hated every second of the book. I felt like it degrated a woman as a wife into being the lower class citizen in a marriage. The line said, "The husband is the head of the household, but the wife will always be the heart." Eww, how I fought that when I read it!! But, after really thinking about it and thinking about every couple I know, it is so true. Men do hold a lot of stock in the ability to provide for their families, but women hold stock in the ability to care for the ones we love. We manage an entire household by giving it all of ourselves. We are, by nature, givers and tend to feel a lot of joy from giving to the people we hold most dear.
I thought that maybe this head/heart roles of the relationship and home only applied because Ben was the only one working and I was the one who ran the house and am raising our son but it's not the case. Women are the heart regardless of one or more or no children, whether they work outside or inside the home, whether there is a lot of money to go around or if it is tight at the end of the month. My mother and mother-in-law both worked outside the home when we were growing up and they put in as many hours as our dad's did but when they got home, the professional hat came off, Mommy hat came on and they picked up second shift of their second job....the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything else. I'm not saying that dad's don't pitch in...but the man and dad of the house is better at different things. Women are good at providing all the love, all the nurturing, all those non-event specific memories of a home that we tend to remember when we think about our childhood's. I am so proud to be a woman. I am proud that I have the capacity to provide for my children love and respect for women that men can't. This isn't man-bashing, this is woman-praising.
Is there a woman who is your role model? Do you admire her for any reason? Have you told her what an incredible woman she is? You should! Celebrate women and celebrate being a woman.....fully capable of doing it all! "I can stretch a green back dolla bill from here to kingdom come; I can play the numbers, pay my bills and still end up with some. I gotta twenty dollar goldpiece that says there's nothing I can't do. I can make a dress out of a feedbag and make a man outta you 'cause I'm a woman. Double U- O- M- A- N! I'll say it again. Cause I'm a woman, Double U- O- M- A- N and that's all."
Sound familiar? I think so too. I have been pretty impressed by women lately. What incredible creatures we are and what we are capable of doing day in and day out. This whole thought process came to me in (unfortunately) a moment of pride. Ben has been sick this weekend and it has really been the worst I have ever seen him. I decided the last couple nights to sleep on the couch and as I woke up this morning at 5:30am. cranky and with an aching back, I grumbled to myself about why I offered to sleep on the not-near-big-enough couch and I remembered (as I was soooooo proud of my wifely accomodations) that Ben needed a good sound night of sleep to help fight off whatever he has and my kicking him all night because he is snorning probably wouldn't help remedy the situation. But it got me thinking about being a woman in general. So much is expected of us and we are capable of so much that I am awed by being a woman. We selflessly offer the bed to our sick husbands so they can heal, we stay up all night listening to our sick babies cough in their sleep, we brew the coffee and let the dog out and get the milk sippy ready all at the same time, we are the organizational engineers of our homes.
I read a passage once in the book, "Power of a Praying Wife." At the time, I hated every second of the book. I felt like it degrated a woman as a wife into being the lower class citizen in a marriage. The line said, "The husband is the head of the household, but the wife will always be the heart." Eww, how I fought that when I read it!! But, after really thinking about it and thinking about every couple I know, it is so true. Men do hold a lot of stock in the ability to provide for their families, but women hold stock in the ability to care for the ones we love. We manage an entire household by giving it all of ourselves. We are, by nature, givers and tend to feel a lot of joy from giving to the people we hold most dear.
I thought that maybe this head/heart roles of the relationship and home only applied because Ben was the only one working and I was the one who ran the house and am raising our son but it's not the case. Women are the heart regardless of one or more or no children, whether they work outside or inside the home, whether there is a lot of money to go around or if it is tight at the end of the month. My mother and mother-in-law both worked outside the home when we were growing up and they put in as many hours as our dad's did but when they got home, the professional hat came off, Mommy hat came on and they picked up second shift of their second job....the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything else. I'm not saying that dad's don't pitch in...but the man and dad of the house is better at different things. Women are good at providing all the love, all the nurturing, all those non-event specific memories of a home that we tend to remember when we think about our childhood's. I am so proud to be a woman. I am proud that I have the capacity to provide for my children love and respect for women that men can't. This isn't man-bashing, this is woman-praising.
Is there a woman who is your role model? Do you admire her for any reason? Have you told her what an incredible woman she is? You should! Celebrate women and celebrate being a woman.....fully capable of doing it all! "I can stretch a green back dolla bill from here to kingdom come; I can play the numbers, pay my bills and still end up with some. I gotta twenty dollar goldpiece that says there's nothing I can't do. I can make a dress out of a feedbag and make a man outta you 'cause I'm a woman. Double U- O- M- A- N! I'll say it again. Cause I'm a woman, Double U- O- M- A- N and that's all."
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
And in this corner
Is the amazing juggling woman.....watch her as she glides through her day juggling 15 hoops all at one time and isn't it incredible...she only drops one or two at a time at any given time ;)
Hahaha- I am a big fan of analogies and the "Amazing Juggling Woman" feels like the perfect fit for this week. I read a book, actually finished a book, last night that I can honestly say has changed my life as a wife. It is called "Redeeming Love" and was recommended to me by another Christian, military wife. I am specific in describing her because it is important to note that the book is religious fiction (it is actually labeled as romance-fiction). It completely opened my eyes to some important facts I had glazed over about marriage...real truths (from a religious point of view) that I had missed in the almost 5 years I have been married.
We military wives tend to play the part of the martyr REALLY well without ever meaning to. Most of us never want people calling with their sympathy when our husbands are on another deployment, we are incredibly self-sufficient, independent and empowered women. I would go so far as to say that many of us are "role models" to the outside world because we do what most wives don't want to think about- keep our heads held high, the house running beautifully and we seem to keep making it work while our marriages keep going strong. But we also tend to look down at "outside" wives because they don't understand and will never understand that feeling of being so completely empty without your other half, that insane feeling of loneliness at night when you are settling down before bed....you get the picture. The book really opened my eyes to my placing my husband where my God ought to be. I expect my husband to really fill up my heart when, in fact, that isn't his job as my husband. It is God's job (as I am willing and accepting) to fill my heart and for my husband to provide love and companionship.
So, here we are at the amazing juggling woman....after reading this book, meditating and praying about it, I have thrown another ring in the air. The ring to be a better, more supportive, less expecting (that my husband can provide everything) wife. I have thrown the ring in the air to provide everything I can for Connor and not gripe about being exhausted but praise because I am blessed with a fantastic and loving child. I have thrown the ring in the air to be a better military wife and not complain when the job calls my husband away because I can proudly say that my husband has a job that brings honor to our family; that he CHOOSES to serve his country and I CHOOSE to stay married and be faithful makes it impossible for me to be negative about the lifestyle we lead. I throw my ring in the air to be a better "housewife" (noted to be different from wife) that my making the decision to be a stay-at-home mom didn't mean that my job was to play with Connor and that was I got to do, but my fulltime job is running a smooth and efficient household and all it entails. I throw my ring in the air to be a more faithful child of God, to not only ask of Him in times of need and despair to hold my hand through the fires, but also to praise His name for the glorious proverbial sunshine of my life. I have thrown my ring in the air to be a better friend, sister, mother, child, wife and person because it is not only what is expected of me, but more importantly what I expect of myself and I am firmly confident that by being the amazing juggling woman who has love for others and joy in my heart I will find the peace and contentment I long to have.
Hahaha- I am a big fan of analogies and the "Amazing Juggling Woman" feels like the perfect fit for this week. I read a book, actually finished a book, last night that I can honestly say has changed my life as a wife. It is called "Redeeming Love" and was recommended to me by another Christian, military wife. I am specific in describing her because it is important to note that the book is religious fiction (it is actually labeled as romance-fiction). It completely opened my eyes to some important facts I had glazed over about marriage...real truths (from a religious point of view) that I had missed in the almost 5 years I have been married.
We military wives tend to play the part of the martyr REALLY well without ever meaning to. Most of us never want people calling with their sympathy when our husbands are on another deployment, we are incredibly self-sufficient, independent and empowered women. I would go so far as to say that many of us are "role models" to the outside world because we do what most wives don't want to think about- keep our heads held high, the house running beautifully and we seem to keep making it work while our marriages keep going strong. But we also tend to look down at "outside" wives because they don't understand and will never understand that feeling of being so completely empty without your other half, that insane feeling of loneliness at night when you are settling down before bed....you get the picture. The book really opened my eyes to my placing my husband where my God ought to be. I expect my husband to really fill up my heart when, in fact, that isn't his job as my husband. It is God's job (as I am willing and accepting) to fill my heart and for my husband to provide love and companionship.
So, here we are at the amazing juggling woman....after reading this book, meditating and praying about it, I have thrown another ring in the air. The ring to be a better, more supportive, less expecting (that my husband can provide everything) wife. I have thrown the ring in the air to provide everything I can for Connor and not gripe about being exhausted but praise because I am blessed with a fantastic and loving child. I have thrown the ring in the air to be a better military wife and not complain when the job calls my husband away because I can proudly say that my husband has a job that brings honor to our family; that he CHOOSES to serve his country and I CHOOSE to stay married and be faithful makes it impossible for me to be negative about the lifestyle we lead. I throw my ring in the air to be a better "housewife" (noted to be different from wife) that my making the decision to be a stay-at-home mom didn't mean that my job was to play with Connor and that was I got to do, but my fulltime job is running a smooth and efficient household and all it entails. I throw my ring in the air to be a more faithful child of God, to not only ask of Him in times of need and despair to hold my hand through the fires, but also to praise His name for the glorious proverbial sunshine of my life. I have thrown my ring in the air to be a better friend, sister, mother, child, wife and person because it is not only what is expected of me, but more importantly what I expect of myself and I am firmly confident that by being the amazing juggling woman who has love for others and joy in my heart I will find the peace and contentment I long to have.
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