I seem to be meeting a lot of fake people lately...or realizing how many people I thought were friends are "fake friends." I have a lot of qualities about myself I wish I could change...being fake is not a quality I possess. I (generally) will always be nice to you because I am a nice person and I (generally) like everyone. I also find myself giving others a lot of second, third, fourth, etc. chances because I do believe in the inherent goodness of others- even if it is to my detriment.
I am so over people who are fake. I would rather have two friends who are true and honest than 100 fake friends who are talking about me behind my back. It is too exhausting for me and I don't need your bad karma in a 40 foot radius of myself or my family.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
And good will come
I will be honest here....my running is completely selfish. I wanted to start running for so many reasons and absolutely zero of them were/are for the benefit of anyone other than myself.
* I started running to rid myself of the extra/leftover baby fat that made me feel like a beached whale.
*I started running to have something to call mine.....it had nothing to do with being Ben's wife, Connor's mother, SSG Boyce's wife, etc. It was all mine.
*I started running as something to do to help pass the time. Being a stay-at-home mom has a handful of challenges that working moms don't ever face...trying to fill the hours. There is more than enough to do around the house during a day to keep me busy but who wants to spend all day every day inside your home??
*I started running because I felt like those closest to me didn't think I could do it.
All selfish! Even my last blog about crossing the finish line was selfish...it was about the feeling I got when I crossed the line and the feeling of accomplishment I felt from having completed a goal I worked so hard to reach.
Then I got an email from my step-mom who also completed the race. Turns out, for all my selfishness and self-serving, good came to others from my being part of the largest Disney Marathon Weekend to date and the largest combination race weekend in the country. Organizers collected more than 26,000 pounds of shed clothing along the race route (my sister and I did our part by "donating/shedding" two sweatshirts and two pairs of socks) which will be washed by Disney Textile Services and the donated to Coalition for the Homeless and the Salvation Army of Central Florida. In addition, runners collected $5.4 million dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. How incredible to be part of something so much bigger than I!
* I started running to rid myself of the extra/leftover baby fat that made me feel like a beached whale.
*I started running to have something to call mine.....it had nothing to do with being Ben's wife, Connor's mother, SSG Boyce's wife, etc. It was all mine.
*I started running as something to do to help pass the time. Being a stay-at-home mom has a handful of challenges that working moms don't ever face...trying to fill the hours. There is more than enough to do around the house during a day to keep me busy but who wants to spend all day every day inside your home??
*I started running because I felt like those closest to me didn't think I could do it.
All selfish! Even my last blog about crossing the finish line was selfish...it was about the feeling I got when I crossed the line and the feeling of accomplishment I felt from having completed a goal I worked so hard to reach.
Then I got an email from my step-mom who also completed the race. Turns out, for all my selfishness and self-serving, good came to others from my being part of the largest Disney Marathon Weekend to date and the largest combination race weekend in the country. Organizers collected more than 26,000 pounds of shed clothing along the race route (my sister and I did our part by "donating/shedding" two sweatshirts and two pairs of socks) which will be washed by Disney Textile Services and the donated to Coalition for the Homeless and the Salvation Army of Central Florida. In addition, runners collected $5.4 million dollars for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. How incredible to be part of something so much bigger than I!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The end...
Is this the end because Endurance Weekend happened? Oh no! This is only the beginning!
My sister and I ran our very first 1/2 marathon this weekend. It was cold, rainy/sleeting (in Central Florida, no less), miserable. The race path was difficult at times due to crowd congestion, instability in the road surface or what-have-you. We didn't have the time we originally set our hearts upon when we signed up for the 1/2, but as tears poured from my eyes, holding the hand of my greatest supporter and motivator, I realized that almost a year in the making and I just accomplished a goal on my bucket list. I get to take my Sharpie marker and scratch off a dream of mine. As I touched the finish line, with arms in the air it occurred to me....I can do ANYTHING! I know people say that and I know everyone uses it as a motivational tool...but for the very first time in my entire life I understood it completely. It was painful, uncomfortable, and, at times, discouraging to be so much slower than I envisioned but maybe that is the point. Maybe the point of this "ah-ha"moment and life lesson is that the things that really mean something to you...the things you work really hard for and desperately want are always the ones that will cause you a little pain and discomfort because you are willing to knowingly put yourself through pain to reach the destination point you want.
I could not have been more proud of myself and my sister in that moment. Ironically, as much pain as I was in- my knees throbbed, my ankles were weak and screaming at me, my lips were purple for hours after and I would have done it again for the same thrill and experience as I had crossing that line. As I drove home with my beautiful son sleeping in the backseat, I had time to think and reflect upon the race and the accomplishment....I think I might want to do it again! Can I get a better time? Can I make it through and run a little more distance? We'll see. I am in no hurry to run another long race again (yet), but I am still logging my miles and time at the gym. How cool is that though?? I am considering putting myself through it all again because of that split-second feeling at the finish line!
My sister and I ran our very first 1/2 marathon this weekend. It was cold, rainy/sleeting (in Central Florida, no less), miserable. The race path was difficult at times due to crowd congestion, instability in the road surface or what-have-you. We didn't have the time we originally set our hearts upon when we signed up for the 1/2, but as tears poured from my eyes, holding the hand of my greatest supporter and motivator, I realized that almost a year in the making and I just accomplished a goal on my bucket list. I get to take my Sharpie marker and scratch off a dream of mine. As I touched the finish line, with arms in the air it occurred to me....I can do ANYTHING! I know people say that and I know everyone uses it as a motivational tool...but for the very first time in my entire life I understood it completely. It was painful, uncomfortable, and, at times, discouraging to be so much slower than I envisioned but maybe that is the point. Maybe the point of this "ah-ha"moment and life lesson is that the things that really mean something to you...the things you work really hard for and desperately want are always the ones that will cause you a little pain and discomfort because you are willing to knowingly put yourself through pain to reach the destination point you want.
I could not have been more proud of myself and my sister in that moment. Ironically, as much pain as I was in- my knees throbbed, my ankles were weak and screaming at me, my lips were purple for hours after and I would have done it again for the same thrill and experience as I had crossing that line. As I drove home with my beautiful son sleeping in the backseat, I had time to think and reflect upon the race and the accomplishment....I think I might want to do it again! Can I get a better time? Can I make it through and run a little more distance? We'll see. I am in no hurry to run another long race again (yet), but I am still logging my miles and time at the gym. How cool is that though?? I am considering putting myself through it all again because of that split-second feeling at the finish line!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Shut the front door
Shut the front door- besides being one of my favorite little "catch phrases" right now it is so appropriate for so much I want to talk about tonight.
First, the country's weight obsession/weight problem. I understand we are, by far, the freakin' fattest country in the world. We are a HUGE, gluttonous society, hell bent on overindulgence and instant gratification. I also understand we are a society of extremes...you are either overweight or weight obsessed- there are so few "in betweeners." I can honestly say that I am in the weight obsessed category. Whether I am overweight, fighting baby weight or feeling pretty good about what the scale says, I am body obsessed. I have tried it all from fads to starvations diets to crazy pills to being a gym whore to everything in between. I am one of "those" people who is never quite happy enough with where I'm at or how I look. However, I can attest that just diet and exercise work and the actual work needs to come within me. The point of that entire rambling though was to get to the whole "shut the front door" thing. How about the diet/ weight obesession feeding into things it shouldn't? How about the "Taco Bell Diet"!?!?! I kid you not! You tube it or something...the Taco Bell Diet, really?!? I wanted to die from laughter. Aren't there some places destined to always be bad and bad for you? Some places the dieting world should never touch and never be a part of? It's almost sacriledge to see the Grade D Meat Factory producing "health food!"
Then my other "shut the front door" topic...the 1/2 marathon in two days! Like I said, I am woefully unprepared but now I am unprepared with 75,000 other people. As I was panting my way down the street to get from one place to the next this morning, I passed by many a jogger and I thought to myself (with half jealousy/ half pity) "look at you go." I wish (or am so glad I'm not) out there with ya buddy. This coming Saturday is going to be interesting, to say the least. I hope I don't embarrass myself!
First, the country's weight obsession/weight problem. I understand we are, by far, the freakin' fattest country in the world. We are a HUGE, gluttonous society, hell bent on overindulgence and instant gratification. I also understand we are a society of extremes...you are either overweight or weight obsessed- there are so few "in betweeners." I can honestly say that I am in the weight obsessed category. Whether I am overweight, fighting baby weight or feeling pretty good about what the scale says, I am body obsessed. I have tried it all from fads to starvations diets to crazy pills to being a gym whore to everything in between. I am one of "those" people who is never quite happy enough with where I'm at or how I look. However, I can attest that just diet and exercise work and the actual work needs to come within me. The point of that entire rambling though was to get to the whole "shut the front door" thing. How about the diet/ weight obesession feeding into things it shouldn't? How about the "Taco Bell Diet"!?!?! I kid you not! You tube it or something...the Taco Bell Diet, really?!? I wanted to die from laughter. Aren't there some places destined to always be bad and bad for you? Some places the dieting world should never touch and never be a part of? It's almost sacriledge to see the Grade D Meat Factory producing "health food!"
Then my other "shut the front door" topic...the 1/2 marathon in two days! Like I said, I am woefully unprepared but now I am unprepared with 75,000 other people. As I was panting my way down the street to get from one place to the next this morning, I passed by many a jogger and I thought to myself (with half jealousy/ half pity) "look at you go." I wish (or am so glad I'm not) out there with ya buddy. This coming Saturday is going to be interesting, to say the least. I hope I don't embarrass myself!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Can't find the time
Can't find the time for anything today. I have been swamped with cleaning, and I mean, baby wiping the quarter round-dusting the air vents-throwing out 8 bags of trash cleaning. It's all in preparation for putting the house on the market....but I'm whipped. As soon as I finished only 3 rooms, it was time for dinner and to start packing so we can go to Florida tomorrow.
How is it possible that we accumulated so much stuff, junk and miscellanous crap since we moved in?? Like I said, 8 bags of trash, 4 trips (so far) to our storage unit, a huge load for the bulk garbage pick up and still so much more to go! That was only 3 rooms!!! We will have 2 bathrooms, a pantry, a great room and a kitchen to plow through. Again....how is this possible to have so much stuff?
It seems like that is the story of life though. We puddle through acquiring, being gifted, buying, borrowing and not returning- we collect all this stuff and it weighs down our life. I feel so purged and light now. Even though I am overwhelmed and worried about what the next few weeks/months are going to hold for us, the feeling of being lifted from the burden of junk is really liberating. Less stuff to clean, to put away, to find a home for....it's kind of nice. Toys that weren't being used, books that weren't being read, clothes that weren't being worn, the list goes on and on. It almost makes me cringe......BUT THEN WAIT, there is hope for us normal acquiring folk! I think about that show Clean House. If I shudder at the thought of my junk weighing me down (and it's really not that bad), can you imagine living in a place that Clean House tornadoes through?!?!?
On a positive and complete sidebar....I will be junk-free, stress-free and house-cleaning free for the next 5 days!! Orlando here I come!
How is it possible that we accumulated so much stuff, junk and miscellanous crap since we moved in?? Like I said, 8 bags of trash, 4 trips (so far) to our storage unit, a huge load for the bulk garbage pick up and still so much more to go! That was only 3 rooms!!! We will have 2 bathrooms, a pantry, a great room and a kitchen to plow through. Again....how is this possible to have so much stuff?
It seems like that is the story of life though. We puddle through acquiring, being gifted, buying, borrowing and not returning- we collect all this stuff and it weighs down our life. I feel so purged and light now. Even though I am overwhelmed and worried about what the next few weeks/months are going to hold for us, the feeling of being lifted from the burden of junk is really liberating. Less stuff to clean, to put away, to find a home for....it's kind of nice. Toys that weren't being used, books that weren't being read, clothes that weren't being worn, the list goes on and on. It almost makes me cringe......BUT THEN WAIT, there is hope for us normal acquiring folk! I think about that show Clean House. If I shudder at the thought of my junk weighing me down (and it's really not that bad), can you imagine living in a place that Clean House tornadoes through?!?!?
On a positive and complete sidebar....I will be junk-free, stress-free and house-cleaning free for the next 5 days!! Orlando here I come!
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year, New Look, New Blog
Taking a que right from my sister (as usual), I have redesigned my blog. Since the 1/2 marathon is in less than a week and I am woefully unprepared for it, I am now using my blogspot as more of a journal-esque place. We have so much going on now and in the upcoming months...getting it out and filling you in is therapeutic for me.
First things first, the outlook and some explanation. The "Bring on the Day" section on the right hand side is daily motivational quotes, sayings, Bible scripture I find inspiring or encouraging or whatever I come across in my day to day that may bring some perspective to others and to myself. The favorites on my iPod are songs that are especially meaningful or touching to me in some way, shape or form either bringing tears to my eyes or laughter to my soul.
Of course, I will still fill you in on my workout's and how my staying in shape is going, but my intention is also to keep a diary of my emotional shape and my eternal gym workout at trying to be a better person. Something, at which, I feel like I fall short of daily.
On the same note as emotional workouts...I guess that brings me to my New Year's Resolutions. I always make the same ones, it seems and fail by the time I get to March! But here we are again and again I will try:
*Read (at least) one book every month. Sometimes this can be an absolute challenge because of schedules, dealing with a child and/or husband or a combination of all of the above.
*Read the Bible the entire way through. I find great spiritual comfort from reading Scripture and daily devotionals and I seem to be more centered and at peace when I am more positive about the path I am supposed to be on.
*Spend uninterrupted time with Connor daily. I know what you are thinking, I am a stay-at-home mom and my job is to care for my child but you would be amazed at how quickly your day fills up with things to do and I find myself getting into bed at night realizing that I talked to Connor, kissed and loved on Connor, ate with him, changed his diaper, bathed him but not once did I engage in an activity to bond and focus solely on him.
*Be a better wife to my husband. See above...same thing happens. The day goes by so quickly and all of a sudden, I can't remember if we kissed or hugged all day long.
*I'm sure I will think of more as I go along...but I think it's a pretty good list to start ;)
First things first, the outlook and some explanation. The "Bring on the Day" section on the right hand side is daily motivational quotes, sayings, Bible scripture I find inspiring or encouraging or whatever I come across in my day to day that may bring some perspective to others and to myself. The favorites on my iPod are songs that are especially meaningful or touching to me in some way, shape or form either bringing tears to my eyes or laughter to my soul.
Of course, I will still fill you in on my workout's and how my staying in shape is going, but my intention is also to keep a diary of my emotional shape and my eternal gym workout at trying to be a better person. Something, at which, I feel like I fall short of daily.
On the same note as emotional workouts...I guess that brings me to my New Year's Resolutions. I always make the same ones, it seems and fail by the time I get to March! But here we are again and again I will try:
*Read (at least) one book every month. Sometimes this can be an absolute challenge because of schedules, dealing with a child and/or husband or a combination of all of the above.
*Read the Bible the entire way through. I find great spiritual comfort from reading Scripture and daily devotionals and I seem to be more centered and at peace when I am more positive about the path I am supposed to be on.
*Spend uninterrupted time with Connor daily. I know what you are thinking, I am a stay-at-home mom and my job is to care for my child but you would be amazed at how quickly your day fills up with things to do and I find myself getting into bed at night realizing that I talked to Connor, kissed and loved on Connor, ate with him, changed his diaper, bathed him but not once did I engage in an activity to bond and focus solely on him.
*Be a better wife to my husband. See above...same thing happens. The day goes by so quickly and all of a sudden, I can't remember if we kissed or hugged all day long.
*I'm sure I will think of more as I go along...but I think it's a pretty good list to start ;)
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